Friday, March 30, 2012

Stress

Stressing out should be my full-time job. {Anyone willing to hire me?} I stress myself out like nobody's business on a daily basis, mainly because of my tendency to want to predict the future and create perfect scenarios in my head. When said scenarios don't end up coming true or don't go according to plan--which they often times don't--I freak. Major. 

Right now I'm applying for internships this summer and every time I'm getting ready to hit submit or send, I'm practically shaking, and the thought of interviewing is enough to make me want to throw-up in itself. So of course I worry. Worry that I'm not good enough, that I'll never be qualified enough, that I'll never get hired and gain experience, and as a result end up selling Tupperware door to door for the rest of my life. Disclaimer: If selling Tupperware is your job, I have no problem with you. It's just not my ultimate goal

Once all these thoughts enter my brain and seem to take up a permanent residence, I usually end up calling my mom, sobbing about how I'm such a failure. Our phone calls follow the same pattern every time: 
I call in mass hysteria. She comforts me. I retort back with answers to how she's wrong about everything. She gets mad at me for being such a Negative Nelly {rightfully so} and yells some sense in to me. I realize she's right {yet again} and apologize profusely because I can't stand when someone is either mad or disappointed in me. We talk civilly again where I convince both of us that I'm going to step it up and become a more positive thinker. 

If you have gotten this far and have decided that I'm certifiably insane, I completely understand.

But those conversations get me thinking. I would LOVE to be able to claim that I am a glass half-full person, but admitting that would have to be considered flat-out lying. The truth is I tend to think negative things, which is terribly horrible {terribly horrible?}. Basically I'm writing this to hold myself accountable. To promise to no one but myself {and maybe my momma} that I'm going to stop worrying about every darn thing and instead of thinking about what could go wrong, imagine what could go right. I realize it's okay to worry every now and then--we wouldn't be human if we didn't, but I need to teach myself and learn how to not let my worries get in the way of life. 

How do you deal with stress and worrying?

Holding myself accountable starting now,
Ellyse

No comments:

Post a Comment

Blogger Tips and TricksLatest Tips And TricksBlogger Tricks